Water initiations are something of an oddball for me. One the one hand, they've always brought increased clarity in divination, scrying, and spirit communication, alongside a helping of heightened empathy. Yet these effects are always coupled with ephemeral emotional states that feel anything but. The highs and the lows are equally as drastic and yet they flow seamlessly into one another: I'll be elated for an hour and then solemn for the next two. Things that would normally have little effect on me would move me to tears; conversely, things that would normally move me to tears instead send me into a rut of depression. Heart-wrenching compassion wrestles with acerbic doubt. So while my psychic senses are greatly enhanced, their efficacy in a way is actually thrown into flux by the possible hindrances the shifting emotions present.
These were the considerations that I had been mulling over while preparing for the water initiation last Monday. Though I didn't voice them, Gabriel brought them up during the evocation and pointed out that though the experience is no less intense each time one undergoes the initiation, the process of calibration for the energies being integrated into one's sphere proceeds more smoothly. At this time I believe I can safely say that it has been the case. I'm certainly still processing all the emotions that became unearthed by the waters, but it's easier to engage with them in a more lucid fashion than before. The bedrock laid down in the Earth initiation also provides a high degree of stability, literally grounding the more turbulent facets of the initiation for easier engagement.
Though this could be considered to be more characteristic of the upcoming air ritual, one change I've really noticed is a decidedly easier time penetrating texts while studying. To use the language of feelings, it's like it's infinitely easier to simply get a sense or "feel" for what their authors wanted to convey to the hearts of their readers. This has been of immense value not only in school (my assessments of my assigned readings for the last week have been consistently shrewd) but also, of course, with my magical practice. I am actually studying the Gnostic Mass right now as I've been signed on to play the role of one of the two Children for our lodge, and I've seen similar effects in that realm. Engaging with dense writings in general have been much more rewarding on an intuitive level. I am eager to see how the addition of air will play into all of this come this Wednesday.