14 November 2016

Fire II

I came into the Fire initiation with a few expectations, garnered from the experiences related to me by other magicians. Common themes running throughout the different stories I heard included anger, impulsiveness, increased sexual drive, and a desire for physical activity. The ritual proceeded well; Michael made his manifestation clearly known and there were no issues that I perceived with regards to general communication. The visions that came with the initiation were powerful and motivating and I left the scene energized and bursting with excitement to get work done.

And then came the exhaustion. A part of me wondered whether or not I had done something incorrectly with regards to the summoning, or if there was some sort of malfunction in the initiation, but my spiritual court advised me that it was normal and should be welcomed for its transformative insight. I didn't feel very transformed or bettered in any way, however. I felt like I was running on fumes; every emotional interaction felt taxing and rickety. I wasn't any more moody or angry in general, just for the most part completely spent. 

Yet after a week and a half of eating well, sleeping in, and having some quality time with my spirits, friends, and some light magical practice... it was like the engines were refueled, finally stopped sputtering, and just kicked into action. I still didn't notice any "anger" or fiery moodiness, but I did experience a significant increase in overall confidence. Any trace of timidity or meekness that I might have displayed in any given situation was set aflame with a sense of power and drive. Consequently, I observed that I was less prone to holding back on voicing my opinions on more sensitive matters where before I simply would have held my tongue. Judging from my notes and from what my closest friends and spiritual allies alike have told me, I wasn't any more impulsive or physically active than the norm. However, the original writing in the lessons by Rufus Opus really wasn't kidding about the sexual drive. My libido definitely went crazy.

I've been on an immensely creative kick since. At this time I have a lineup of assorted magical crafts to create, both for myself and for others. Additionally I have a wealth of materials to go through and study in the meanwhile, as well as preparations to make for the next stage of the elemental initiations: the Demonic Princes. Now that the force of fire is really going through my sphere I definitely want to capitalize on the energy and have fun with it, especially with regards to all this creativity I'm feeling.

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